If you’re wondering whether it might be time to stop using pull-ups at night, you’re not alone. This is one of the most common and emotionally leading questions parents ask.
And first, let’s clear something up:
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Bedwetting is common.
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It is not laziness.
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It is not bad parenting.
Nighttime dryness is often developmental and usually something a child’s body grows into not something they decide.
Night Dryness is Often Developmental
For a child to stay dry overnight, three things need to line up:
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Their body has to make less urine while sleeping
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Their bladder has to hold more
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Their brain has to wake them when the bladder is full
Those systems often develop at different speeds. That’s why two children of the same age, even siblings, can be at completely different stages.
Being dry at night is a completely separate developmental milestone from daytime potty training. While nighttime dryness often follows daytime success, and some children do stay dry soon after they’re fully toilet trained during the day, many perfectly normal children still wet the bed at age 5.
Nighttime wetting can sometimes be a learned behaviour, and there are strategies and support that can help. At the same time, other factors can play a role, such as constipation, very deep sleep, anxiety, or medical conditions.
Why Trials Can Be Helpful
When I went through this stage with my own daughters, I found that trials felt important, not because I expected them to magically “fix” bedwetting, but because they helped me understand what was really happening.
Trials made me more tuned in to:
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What time my kids were wetting
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How often it was happening
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Whether there was any pattern
With my eldest daughter, I waited for signs, which she didn’t really start showing until around age 5. At the time I thought that was incredibly late. Now I know it was actually very normal.
She started with a few dry nights, then gradually more. Our first trial without pull-ups went well… but illnesses set us back several times, and our mattress protector was definitely needed.
My younger daughter was completely different. She is a much heavier sleeper and showed no clear signs at all. She would have random dry nights on and off, but was mostly wet for a long time. I could write a book on our experience here but trialling without pull-ups felt important for us to assess what was going on.
Under 5
When To Try
If your child is under 5, it’s usually best to wait for some signs that their body may be getting closer to ready. Signs can include:
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Dry or only slightly damp mornings
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Getting up to use the toilet at night
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Asking to try no pull-ups
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Dry naps (this often shows bladder control is improving)
If you’re not seeing these yet, that is also completely normal. Many children simply aren’t ready, and pushing won’t make their body develop faster.
If A Trial Doesn’t Work
If you do decide to try sleeping without pull-ups, it helps to explain clearly to your child that this is a trial, not a test. Something you’re practising together rather than something they have to “pass.” Give it around one to two weeks, keep everything calm and low-pressure, and try not to make each night feel like it matters too much.
If your child is still wet most nights, it’s a sign to pause rather than push. You can go back to pull-ups and try again in a few months. One really important thing to remember is not to stop a trial suddenly in the middle of the night, as this can make a child feel like they’ve failed; instead, always talk about it during the day and make the decision together.
Over 5
Some children over 5 never show the “readiness” signs we’re told to look for such as waking up dry or getting up to use the toilet in the night. But that doesn’t mean their bodies aren’t capable of learning. In fact, for many of these children, staying in pull-ups for too long can actually delay progress, because their brain never gets the chance to practise waking when the bladder is full. For them, a gentle, well explained trial without pull-ups can be an important step in helping that brain bladder connection develop.
This doesn’t mean pushing through distress or wet nights with pressure, but rather offering calm support, protection for the bed, and reassurance that this is simply part of learning. When handled kindly, these trials can give the body the opportunity it needs to figure things out, even if progress is slow or uneven.
What To Say To Your Child
The words you use during this stage can have a big impact on your child’s confidence and how they feel about themselves. Using gentle, supportive language helps them understand that bedwetting is not their fault and that it’s simply part of their body learning to grow. Phrases like:
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“Your body is still learning.”
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“This isn’t your fault.”
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“We’re just practising.”
These reassure them that wet nights are normal and temporary, and that they are not in trouble or disappointing anyone. You can also try encouraging statements that celebrate effort rather than results, such as:
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“I’m proud of you for trying”
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“We’re doing this together”
Reinforcing a sense of teamwork and safety. Remind them that accidents happen to everyone, and that each night is just another chance to learn.
Keeping a nighttime routine consistent, paired with kind words, show them that they are supported and loved no matter what. These messages and actions protect their confidence, reduce anxiety around bedtime, and help make the journey to nighttime dryness a positive, reassuring experience rather than a source of shame.
Trials Don’t Always Work
Some children respond well to a trial and begin to show progress, while others simply need more time, and some may benefit from different strategies or even medical input. None of this means anyone is doing anything wrong, bedwetting is not a reflection of parenting or effort.
Trials can be very helpful, but it’s important not to do them too often, as frequent attempts can become confusing or disheartening for a child. When trials are explained clearly, kept calm, and spaced out, they offer a low-pressure way to understand what is happening and support learning.
It’s also important to remember that sometimes there are other factors influencing bedwetting, such as:
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Constipation
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Very deep sleep (brain bladder connection)
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Anxiety or big life changes
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Bladder development differences
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Medical or neurological factors
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Other daytime toileting issues
This is why a one-size-fits-all approach rarely works, each child’s journey to nighttime dryness is unique.
A Few Important Reminders
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Bedwetting is common
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Trials don’t always work and that’s okay!
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Pausing is sometimes needed and often better than pushing
While this blog separates under and over 5s, this is only a guide. Every child is different. If you’re unsure, worried, or just need reassurance, your GP or paediatrician is always a great place to turn. Asking for support is never overreacting.
After years of speaking to parents and going through it myself I know now that I wasn’t alone and neither are you!
